I've had some conversations in the last few days about learning. What are we curious about? How do we learn? Is it possible to learn?
I think about this a lot at the boxing gym. This is not easy stuff, and I'm always so curious to know why people are there. What is it they want to learn? Some listen to trainers an coaches, and some don't. Some people catch on to things immediately, while some people stay for years at about the same level of engagement. Neither is good or bad. I'm just saying...
I'm a curious person. I want to be a better boxer. That's the dialogue in my head every time I drive to the gym. What more can I do? How can I be better? I love this stuff. I'm not afraid to put myself out there--not like I once was, anyway.
I feel like I wear two hats: I want to learn, and I feel a responsibility (an earnest, heartfelt one) to teach others.
But I make assumptions about what getting taught means. It's not always my agenda. No, I'd say it's almost NEVER my agenda. And that's a pretty wonderful lesson for me in and of itself.
But I don't think we see what it is we're truly there to learn. You don't realize that you're not turning your foot when you throw a cross. You don't realize that tired right arm is dropping down and away from your face leaving you dangerously exposed. Even if you're watching the pros to see what they do, are you watching for what you should be watching for?
I need the people at the gym to remind me, and show me. That my lesson that day is patience. My lesson that day is listening to a young fighter trying to be a role model for even younger fighters. My lesson is to remind someone that he's risking my wrists by not paying attention to how we're working together. My lesson is to remind me that I'll never know what each person is bringing with them to class that day, and that matters. Listen. Ask. My lesson is to ask more about what the business of running a gym involves. To remember what it felt like the first day I walked in.
Things don't happen on my terms. On my schedule. My way isn't "right." I need to see this play out--regularly, by people I love and trust, to really learn. I've spent a lot of my life thinking there's a pattern, that the answer's in a book, and the answers come from people with society-approved credentials. Not anymore.
But I don't know that these are my lessons. I really depend on these people around me to be active trainers for me--even in a passive way. They--in a way--decide what I learn or don't learn. What a powerful thing it is to be influencing and to be influenced in such important ways, and sometimes unintentional ways.