Someone asked me about coaching last night--if it really made a difference to know that someone was cheering you on, or even just "with you" as you did something in the world.
Yes. It does.
This was in the context of eating a different kind of food, but I see it everywhere. At the gym, at my office, after a class where a few people linger to talk to the teacher about...anything.
Do we need this? Some people argue that we do. I don't think we need it, but that most of us want it. There may be a few extraordinary, remarkable people who can live independently, internally, quietly without hearing that others see the mark they're making on the world. But these people are rare.
Most of us, I think, are starving to be seen. It almost like when you're chronically dehydrated but don't realize it's thirst that's compromising how you feel and how you think. "Being seen" is a drink of water.
At my gym is one of the few places in my life where I've felt truly seen. Not because I'm a great fighter, or I'm the strongest (because I'm not), but because I'm a person in the world doing what I can--and that much matters. Whatever it is that day, it counts.
When this is given to you, it's truly a gift. When you've been given this gift, you can do it for other people. Imagine the person on the treadmill next to you, or in the cube next to you, or on the bus as someone who could be crawling across a confidence/self-worth desert. What would a drink of water mean to her? To you?